Sunday, April 13, 2008

NHL first round "Burma Shave" poetry

As some may recall, I did promise to summarize the first round of the NHL playoffs in "Burma Shave" poetry (that true All-American literary style :D)

Well, I haven't gotten the whole series done, but here are the first two of eight that came to mind. You may ask "where are the other six?" to which I can only say "this is art, not industry, and art cannot be rushed!"

At any rate:

Pittsburgh vs Ottawa:
Therrien's quiet,
Murray's bleating;
these sounds portend
a savage beating.
Burma Shave.

San Jose vs. Calgary:
The Sharks will win,
though Calgary's vicious;
Expect to see
some battered fishes!
Burma Shave

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Five cops and a drug dog.


Just came across the border after a little road trip gone haywire. Apparently the border patrol thinks I'm either a drug-runner or a tax-evading professional gambler. On the way down, I got to sit in an hour while they searched the car top to bottom. On the way back, I had the pleasure of waiting an hour and a half while I answered the same litany of invasive personal questions, and saw two officers turn into three turn into five plus a drug-sniffing dog that went through the entire car, looking for anything.

I guess if you rent a car and drive to the States to gamble instead of flying to Vegas with the rest of the frickin' world, and go for more than two days at a time, then you are guilty until proven innocent.

Dear diary. Current mood: furious!

Using my new scale of measuring building anger and frustrations, it weighed in at about 7.5 Cornette's. Worse than the famous "Dairy Queen" incident, not as bad as the famous anti-CZW rants he did as commissioner of ROH.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

How could Obama's guys not see this?

Recently, Hilary Clinton compared herself to Rocky Balboa, like so:

Obama responded Wednesday to Clinton's comparison of herself a day earlier to Rocky Balboa, the underdog boxer from Philadelphia in the 1976 film. She said "when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up."

I mean, EVERYONE remembers Rocky.. right?

So, how did Obama respond?

Obama told the union meeting: "We all love Rocky. But we've got to remember, Rocky was a movie."


Obama, you blew it!

Everyone knows what the proper answer would have been:

Obama told the union meeting: "We all love Rocky. But we've got to remember - Rocky fought hard, but he lost"