Thursday, February 28, 2008

NHL Trade Deadline haikus.

Even though it's only 4am-ish or thereabouts, the competition for "funniest thing I'll read today" is already a mortal lock for this entry, the 2008 NHL trade deadline deals in haiku form.

My personal favorite:

****

The Florida Panthers acquired right winger/defenseman Wade Belak from the Toronto Maple Leafs for a fifth-round draft pick in 2008.



A fifth-round pick is
Better than a bag of pucks.
You go, Trader Cliff!

*****

How on earth do you top this? The first round of the playoffs in "Burma Shave" prose?

Now, for the benefit of my younger readers, "Burma Shave" was a product that was notorious for advertizing over several billboards, each featuring one line of a four-line poem, followed by "Burma Shave" on the last billboard. For example, Roy Silvernail's entry from The Richard Nixon Memorial Burma Shave Showdown:

"I am not
a crook," said he,
following with
"Pardon me!"
Burma Shave.


There, you guys get two of my favorite links in one post!

And yes, I think I'll go that way. Stay tuned.

2 comments:

Robert Vollman said...

Where's Melissa Etheridge on your list of celebrity crushes?

Oh and given that you admire Julius Caesar, does it bother you that I admire Brutus (the noblest Roman of them all), and even named my cat after him?

Charles "Alpha Lackey" Mousseau. said...

Where's Melissa Etheridge on your list of celebrity crushes?

More like, "Where's the Melissa Etheridge I HAD the celebrity crush on?" You know, the long flowing locks of hair, the gold lame pants and the tight black shirt? The one that sang heated rock-and-roll instead of.. well, I don't much know what you'd call her new stuff, but it's so far gone from her 90s stuff that I loved and knew as to suspect she is a different person.

Although, you can't really fault someone for undergoing a huge metamorphosis after surviving cancer.

Oh and given that you admire Julius Caesar, does it bother you that I admire Brutus (the noblest Roman of them all), and even named my cat after him?

Well, you and Shakespeare and your cat can all go to Noble Roman pizza for all I care. Even if you buy that Caesar was a "tyrant" (as opposed to merely a competent, benevolent dictator), anyone who deposes a tyrant and leaves a void worse than his rule ever could be has done the world no favors.